Father's day got me thinking a lot. And as part of that, I've been trying to answer: "Why are men irresponsible?" Dive into it and you would realise that the chant of "Men are irresponsible" spans almost every country.
But why? Why am I statistically predisposed to be deemed as an irresponsible person, even before I have had the opportunity to prove myself?
Sentiments aside, it is very alarming to observe that men in their default state are irresponsible. Think about it, responsible men are those who have decided to put in a lot more effort to become the people we tend to praise.
Our natural state as men seems to be a state of irresponsibility. Let's go to the extreme. Is our sense of irresponsibility as a gender tied to genetics? And it doesn't even stop at the human race.
Evolutionists would argue that this sense of irresponsibility is even found in the animal kingdom. Lions are irresponsible fathers and husbands as lionesses tend to show a sense of responsibility.
But let's come back to the human male. As I'm growing, I'm getting a better perspective. There's an unconventional argument I'm willing to make. As has been said always, men in our traditional sense are meant to be a sort of provider.
Our general worth is based on how much we can provide. Forget what others say, this is true! "Broke men don't deserve to date", Gen Zs argue.
In the past, this was probably cemented with the notion that men were provided with all the opportunities to work, and women weren't. Thus, leaving women to be in the kitchen and men to find their worth by being able to "provide".
But today and tomorrow, women and men are all working and bringing in income so our role as the provider isn't as prominent as it was.
Yet even with this, the provider role is still on our necks. We have to ensure that the futures of our wives, children and our families are secured. We are our parents' responsibility once we grow.
Statistically too, we're more predisposed to die earlier and so responsible men have to make provision for their absence. All this while, keeping this pressure to ourselves and sinking it all in. Because hey, a crying/nagging man is a red flag.
And it gets scary for my generation because much of the opportunities are going to ladies in the name of women empowerment. Women are getting all the privileges, while men have to put in a lot more effort to even get noticed.
But to say it is to seem like a misogynist.
And so we watch silently. In an era of great rights for everyone, animals and even guns, men cannot express how they feel without sounding like misogynists.
Time and time again, men have learnt this lesson. That to open up is a huge trap. And all we say, even in our moments of emotional vulnerability, would be used against us. So we don't, and won't.
But then again, we want to be responsible. And so we ask, what is our role as men in this new generation? Because even with me, as open-minded as I claim to be, and in all my readings and reflections, I still don't know what the role of a responsible man is.
This means in future, my kids would probably not wish me on fathers day. Is this a stark reality I must come into agreement with?
