Let's talk about Love, shall we?
As a self-accredited expert in dishing and receiving breakfasts, I am more than qualified to talk about love and its nuances. The fact that I cannot even find love to save a life makes me the perfect person to talk about the concept of love. Argue with my unquestionable, spotless badges of expertise, and not with me.
But as a firm believer in and lover of (pun intended) the sciences, I want to talk about it from my bogus scientific perspective. In this piece, I'm prepared to look at love and what it entails from various perspectives. Ready for some bogus science? Lezzgo!
In my childhood, we (the experts) defined love as "the feeling you feel when you feel you're feeling a feeling you feel you've never felt before." Boy, weren't we so brilliant back then? I mean!!! Just look at the grandeur showcase of intelligence at play.
Unconventional, yes, but this definition worked and is still relevant today! We sought to subject love to the concept of being a feeling, as our minds could not properly fathom and grasp the complex, multifaceted nature of this 4 letter word.
I mean, the love you feel for God is different from the love you feel for your mum, which is different from the love you feel for Gobɛ, which is also different from the love you feel for your boo, which is also different from the love you feel for the Black stars, which is also different from the amazing, awesome, beautiful love you feel for me! Am I not a darling?
It appears that one of the key factors that contribute to falling in love is psychological. And this can be liked to the concept of "attachment". Attachment is thought to be the emotional bond that develops between individuals who are close to one another and is usually showcased by feelings of care, trust, and affection.
Other psychological factors that are thought to play a role in falling in love include similarity, proximity, and physical attractiveness. People are more likely to fall in love with those who are similar to them in terms of values, beliefs, and personality traits. In essence, proximity to a person in terms of these factors plays a role in the development of romantic relationships (the subject of this post).
Weirdly though, a level of mystique about a person seems to spark a lot more interest in them, so they occupy lots of brain space. The more mystique you find about a person, the more you are curious to get to know them and break off that mystique. The brain hates confusion and would want to get clarity as soon as possible. But that makes you think about them more, increasing the probability of love. So more mystique, my people. More mystique.
Additionally, physical attractiveness is often an important factor in the initial attraction between individuals, although it is not necessarily a determining factor in the long-term success of a relationship. Physical attraction, they say, gets you in. Character makes you stay? Is this true? My bogus science cannot confirm.
The psychological nature of this attachment can be linked to biology too, as it is thought that the attachment caused by love is influenced by the brain's release of certain hormones. Key to this is the hormone oxytocin - often referred to as the "love hormone." The other chemicals include dopamine and norepinephrine. Forget Hooke, the science is getting "tensious".
The names of these chemicals are not important as compared to what they can do. They can lead to feelings of pleasure, attachment, and arousal, and can contribute to intense emotions and physical sensations. This is often likened to the butterflies in the stomach effect experienced during the early stages of romantic relationships.
Butterflies aside, there are also a number of social and cultural factors that tend to influence falling in love. For example, family and community expectations, religious beliefs, and cultural norms can all shape an individual's views about love and relationships.
Resultingly, people like me, who have supportive friends and family may be more likely to feel confident and secure in new relationships, while those who have had or heard negative past experiences may be more cautious about falling in love. Once bitten, twice shy?
These also form the foundation of what we tend to call our "spec". Our spec is a build-up of expectations that arise from these socio-cultural factors. Specs are not biological, my bogus science argues, they're social and cultural. So you don't hate ewe men because of our biology, but because of societal and cultural standards. Your loss though.
From this, you may start to notice that the science of falling in love is complex and involves a range of biological, psychological, and social factors that can interact and influence one another in various ways.
Here in lies the difficulty. We have to find a person who checks all these boxes and ensure too that we check their boxes. Because you can do all your search to find that one person, only to discover later on that alas, you're not their type. For theists, I'd encourage that while you pray that God helps you find THE PERSON you want, pray for the person you want to want you too. Else NBS tears. For the atheists, pray to the big bang. I hear say the big bang dey do better linkups waa.
My science may be bogus, but it works! And if it works, you don't touch it. I have taught you what love entails and the science behind it, and it is entirely up to you to go find some. Go! Go out into the world, find love and don't be like me.
But when I do find some, remember to mute me. Thank you.
